Why I Love Being A Pastor’s Wife

When I was a little girl, I dreamed of becoming a teacher. I always thought it would be in a school setting {and I do actually homeschool now}. As I became a teenager and developed my musical abilities more, my thoughts turned to the possibility of teaching music {and I do teach music now}. 🙂

Interestingly, when I did meet my husband to be, he was studying music. At the time I had no thoughts of him becoming my husband. Sometime during his second year of college, he felt God calling him to switch majors. Yes, you guessed it: he switched to a pastoral major. And by then we were thinking about our future together. During the next few years in Bible college, I was privileged to watch God shaping and moulding my fiancee into a Godly man with a passionate pastor’s heart, which he still has today.

While ministry has held some very dark valleys for us, I can honestly say today {almost 9 years into ministry} that I truly LOVE being a pastor’s wife. I would be lying if I told you that I have felt that way from the beginning, or that I have always felt that way. But through the years as God has gently turned my face to look at His through every circumstance, I’ve learned to love being a shepherd’s wife. Here are some of my top reasons:

1. I love being a pastor’s wife because I get to be an integral part of my husband’s ‘job.’

Pastors struggle with coming home from the office and leaving work at work. Aside from being on call, they carry burdens 24/7 for their own family, and for many families in the church.  I’m so thankful that we can share these burdens together with a mutual understanding and focus. For me personally, my husband’s work is as much a part of my life as my work as a wife and mother. His burdens are my burdens. His joys are mine. We share life together. We do ministry side by side. It is a gift!

2. I love being a pastor’s wife because I can invest my life in the soul care of others.

Providing soul care for people is a very rewarding occupation! It may be akin to how a doctor feels when he saves someone’s life.  And while every pastoral couple sees ministry casualties from time to time, we also see successes and growth!  We get fulfillment and motivation out of praying for God’s wisdom, counseling someone, and seeing God begin to change them. There is nothing more thrilling than seeing someone begin to get a passion for the things of God- for prayer and outreach, for general Godly living. I absolutely love praying for and with other ladies, and hearing about how God is working in their lives.

3. I love being a pastor’s wife because it keeps me accountable and growing spiritually.

If ever there was a thing in my life that continually shows me where I need to grow, it’s being a pastor’s wife. Spiritual leaders carry a lot of responsibility to have a genuine Godly testimony.

When I was in college, I had an almost daily prayer that left my lips as a plea. Sometimes I even said it out loud, under my breath, “God! Please don’t let me be mediocre! Please don’t let me be average!” I don’t know why that desire was so fiery in my heart, but I know one thing: God answered that request. He has chosen to send me through some pretty intense trials that have ‘kept me on my toes’ when it comes to spiritual growth.  In the darkest valleys I have prayed “God, please keep my heart tender toward You. Don’t let me get hard!” When I get apathetic, He draws me closer and revives my heart, encouraging me to be real and Godly in all of my relationships, both at home, at church, and in the world.  Secondarily to nurturing my relationship with God out of a heart of love for Him, being a pastor’s wife keeps me motivated to work hard at it.

4. I love being a pastor’s wife because it has taught me how to experience God’s grace in practical ways.

Since I’ve become a pastor’s wife, I’ve done things I never dreamed I was capable of. I’ve done things I said I would never do.  Somehow over time, and sometimes through paralyzing fear {who said we shouldn’t do things we’re afraid of?} I have learned how to rely on God and to receive His amazing grace. A simple yet wonderful definition of grace is this: God’s supernatural enabling to do His will. 

It means whispering to God “I can’t do this. But you can. Please do _________ through me.” It means choosing to be weak, and then it means watching Him work. I’ve never gotten over the miracle of it, and I hope I never do.

5. I love being a pastor’s wife because it proves that God uses flawed vessels for His glory.

I love being prompted by God to minister to different people as He lays them on my heart. And even if I can’t see the results here on earth, I am overwhelmed at the realization that God wants to use such an imperfect me to mirror His shepherding skills in others’ lives!  I am so privileged and honoured to have been chosen to serve with a man who desires to be an earthly shepherd. If I zeroed in on my own unworthiness, I would be pretty useless. But when I’m full-faced towards my God, I get to watch Him do some pretty amazing things.

And this makes me the most blessed woman on the planet.


Let’s chat in the comments! If you’re a pastor’s wife, what do you enjoy most about the role God has given you?


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About Leah {Embracing Grace}

Leah Highfill accepted Christ as her Saviour and became a child of God at the age of 18. Originally from the USA, she and her husband moved to the mission field of Canada in 2005, where she served in full time ministry as a pastor's wife for 10 years. During their tenure there, they became dual citizens. Leah and her family recently returned to NC and are currently enjoying a much needed sabbatical for the year of 2015. She homeschools her children {Small Son is 9 and Tiny Daughter is 7} and teaches private piano lessons on the side. She can be found reading, writing/blogging, playing the piano and violin, or ice skating. A friend to ministry wives everywhere, Leah has a passion to inspire hope and to encourage women in their walk with God. Her first book, Expecting Grace, was published in 2013. Expecting Grace is the story of Leah's experience and survival of a life threatening pregnancy, and of many medical and financial miracles along the way. Her second book is currently in process. Join her grace-filled journey right here at Embracing Grace!

10 thoughts on “Why I Love Being A Pastor’s Wife

  1. Hello! This post was a God thing no lie, I am sitting in my living room crying,lost and feeling hopeless. Why? Well my husband just took a youth internship at a church I grew up in, My grandfather and dad are both pastors and now my husband is becoming one. Although I love the church and youth of our church and more so my husband im scared, scared that I’ll mess it up or something like that. Everyone i know of that is a pastors wife isn’t a huge fan so to finally read something that was encouraging about being a pastors wife was very encouraging so thank you for that! God Bless you and your family

  2. Aw, Rachel! I’m so glad the post was a blessing to you. You will do just fine as long as you depend on God’s grace. There WILL be some very rough times in ministry- that is reality. It’s a unique calling with a unique set of trials. Just be yourself and let God lead you. The most important requirement? Be a Godly woman. 🙂 Don’t be afraid to reach out when you need prayer support. God bless you in this new role that God has given you!
    Leah recently posted..Issues Pastors’ Wives Face: Dealing With Criticism in Ministry {Part Two}My Profile

  3. I have been a PW for 15 plus years now……I just love people!! I love the lovely, the unlovely, the old the young, the youth, the young married…..I love that I can speak a little something into their lives to make them feel loved honoured and beautiful! Everyone needs to feel loved, I have an open door as a PW to speak a word in season or just listen! What a great job!! If you know what I mean!! HUgs Cath

    1. Ps I must add, it is not all roses pastoring!! But even when it looks weedy I still realise that even weedy gardens have their time!! Soon enough the master gardener plucks them out and turns over that bed ready for the fresh flush!
      Cathy recently posted..Perfection or Fun?My Profile

    2. Cathy, your testimony of loving people is so wonderful- ministry would be non existent without people, eh? But learning to love like Christ loves is so good for us. And yes, the opportunities to encourage are just so special! Thank you for reading and taking the time to comment! And sorry for my delayed response! Just now seeing it.
      Leah {Embracing Grace} recently posted..It’s Not Because I’m a Pastor’s WifeMy Profile

  4. Love this post and I agree with you. I have come to love being a pastor’s wife, but I also have a gracious, supportive, and loving congregation who loves me with my flaws. I also have come to live before God and live to get people’s approval.

    1. I mean, “NOT live to get people approval.” There is a great book regarding this subject by Ed Welch. I am no longer an “approval junkie”.

  5. I love what Cathy said….I really love people; am drawn to their hurts and want to listen and comfort. I sometimes feel like a ‘walking empath’!! (not a word…but it’s how I feel sometimes!)
    I love that the Lord will lay someone on my heart and burden me to pray for them…I love to be there for them and just help carry their burden…walk beside them…..the Lord is so gracious in allowing me this….to be my husband’s wife and minister with him….serve with him. It is a privilege and I am amazed and thrilled that He uses me in spite of my flaws (as Rose so eloquently posted).

  6. Loved the post. It has encouraged me to stand firm in the role of being a PW to a new ministry. This came at a time where I started to hate being a Pastor’s Wife due in part to always having to sacrifice at the expense of our own personal family needs/desires for a ministry that lacks in spiritually immature members. Thank you for this and some of your other posts of read. This very morning 9/9/17 I was ready to emotionally and mentally step away from being the wife of a Pastor. Now, I know to set my face to the Lord and allow Him to meet me at my needs and build me in my in innermost faith.

    Kind regards,

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